Soylent Green

I do not like how the iPhone “syncs” with my Mac. It isn’t broken, but it involves a lot more steps than it should, and doesn’t do a good job of actually keeping me in sync. So I guess it is broken. You heard it here first, people! Ben Brown says the iPhone / iTunes sync is totally broken!

• I don’t like my MP3 player being in charge of keeping all of my data in sync. I feel like making syncing a responsibility of my media manager application means it will not be good at either. I miss iSync, the old Apple sync manager, which synced multiple USB/bluetooth devices as well as .Mac and other online subscriptions all at once, automatically or as I so desired.
• I don’t like that the iTunes sync does not fire off a chain of child-syncs for related applications. As it is, before I can even connect my iPhone, I have to open iCal and have it refresh all of my calendar subscriptions, then do a manual refresh on my Podcast subscriptions within iTunes. Then, after I connect the phone, I have to do a manual import in iPhoto for my photos. Why can’t that be one step?
• I don’t like how it responds to my iPhone’s memory being full. The only option it gives if there is not enough space for a full sync is to turn of Podcasts. Why not offer to delete photos? Or why not do something clever like suggesting a smart playlist that will shrink if necessary? Oh wait, because I can’t create smart playlists that do that.
• Obviously, it is totally retarded that I cannot sync my phone using bluetooth or WiFi. If I can buy songs over WiFi, why can’t I send them over my local network? Am I cursed to always carry a proprietary USB cable around everywhere I go?

I wish that my iPhone would do something special when it was around another iPhone. Whatsup, Bonjour? It could share playlists, or suggest playlists, or exchange contact information, or trade links or it could just do something simple and pleasant.

Like, it could coo. That would be nice. Coo and vibrate a little bit. And the first time it happened, you’d be like, whoa, what’s going on? My phone is cooing. And then someone across the room would do the same thing. And then everyone would want one.

I would love it if someone would create a drag and drop interface to Google Docs for the Mac akin to the Flickr Uploadr. I get Word and Excel documents from a wide variety of sources, and they usually end up on my desktop. I’d love to be able to just drop them on an icon in my dock and have them magically sent to Google, with the option of adding a few tags on the way out. Can someone make that for me? OK, thanks, bye!

I don’t want to rant ad nausea about the iPhone, but I must say that it comes pretty close to my adolescent dreams of having my very own copy of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, especially after I installed this desktop picture. It fits conveniently in my pocket, it can wirelessly access the entire known universe of information, and it says DON’T PANIC on the cover in large, friendly letters. I just need a Wikipedia button on the home screen so that I can look up Vogons and Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with a just swoosh of my finger. It would also be great if someone were to make iPod friendly video rips of all the Guide videos from the TV series and movie so I could explain babelfish to people AND show off my phone at the same time.

So get on that, internets.